Ever Tried Herding Cats?
by propinatio
Summary: SwanQueenWeek prompt: Blind date. Ruby convinces Emma to a blind date, where conversations take unexpected turns all thanks to a combination of alcohol and nerves.


Blind Date AU for SwanQueenWeek

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"If she's some crazy nut-job with 52 cats I will never trust you again. Understand?" Emma jabbed her finger at Ruby's shoulder as the wolf shook her head and spun her back to face the mirror.

"She doesn't have 52 cats, Em."

"And the nut-job part?" Emma asked starting to worry.

"Well… she's not like crazy-crazy." Ruby said shrugging hiding her smile as she played with Emma's hair.

"Oh, great. Not crazy-crazy just plain crazy. Fantastic." Emma said sarcastically wincing as Ruby tugged on her hair. "Sheesh. What'd my hair do to you?"

"Look better than mine for starters." Ruby growled as she glared at the hair slipping easily through her fingers as Emma chuckled.

"I still can't believe I'm doing this. She better not be some stuck up princess from your world."

"She's not a princess." Ruby said knowing Emma would actually kill her upon finding out who she was actually meeting. It wasn't like she was lying. Technically.

"Okay, so she's not a crazy-crazy cat lady and not a princess…" Emma tried to run through all the people she knew that Ruby would have set her up with but no-one came to mind. "Just tell me who it is!" She turned on the bed and pouted up at Ruby.

"Don't go giving me those puppy-dog eyes, cause they are literally mine." Ruby said. She pulled Emma from the bed and straightened the only nice blouse she'd found in Emma's mess of a closet. Which Emma had reluctantly admitted wasn't hers but Regina's Ruby had almost keeled over with laughter at the irony.

"Okay, so I'll go with you to the bar and she'll meet up with you there." Ruby said hands firmly on Emma's shoulders as the blonde took a deep breath. "You'll be fine. I mean look at you! You're hot."

"Thanks, Rubes." Emma said with a bashful smile, still unused to compliments sent her way. "Hold on, she knows who I am?"

"Well, yeah. How else would you meet?" Ruby asked curiously.

"I dunno. Like you tell them you'll be wearing a red jacket or have a rose in your pocket or something."

"Even if I told her you were wearing a red jacket she would instantly know it was you, Em. You're the only person in this town who dares to wear a red jacket."

"Hey! It's a nice jacket." Emma said picking up the jacket from the bed and sliding it on. "She doesn't mean it."

"Maybe I should warn her you're the crazy-crazy one." Ruby muttered leaving the blonde's bedroom and taking Emma's keys before Emma could stop her.

"Maybe you should. I don't wanna go." Emma said childishly as she crossed her arms with a pout.

"Too bad." Ruby gripped Emma's upper arm and lead her from the apartment that was officially hers now. Emma whined and play fought Ruby's grip until she was shoved into her own car and buckled in.

"If this goes wrong you are totally dead."

"Yeah, yeah. Destroy my happiness… whatever." Ruby mumbled with a sly grin as Emma huffed and looked out the window groaning about how messy cats actually were.

* * *

Emma toyed with the bottle in her hand as she sat alone at the bar. Ruby had vanished into the throng of people on the dance floor yelling how it was her song, and that was the last Emma had seen of her.

Her eyes kept darting to the clock as the time her blind date would appear drew ever closer, and her anxiety increased. Rubbing her face tiredly – and questioning her sanity when Ruby had suggested this – she took a sip from the bottle.

Dutch courage would be vital to surviving tonight, especially if the woman had cats. There was something about those beady eyes always watching that unnerved Emma.

Emma got lost in her thoughts about cats, how they always seemed up to something, too smart for their own good before concluding they had to be animal spies then wondering who they could be working for. CIA she decided. So caught up in her thoughts she failed to notice the woman now sitting in the previously unoccupied seat beside her.

When she began chuckling to herself about the CIA trying to round up the cats she heard a familiar voice. "Something funny, Emma?"

"Regina!" Emma said with a wide smile as she tried to turn on the stool, barely managing to stay on it as she faced the amused woman. "You ever tried to herd cats?"

"No, can't say I have." Regina said with a small smile and a wave to the bartender for a drink that promptly arrived. "Why? Have you?"

"Nah, but it would be funny to try. Don't you think?"

"I would much rather watch someone else do it." Regina watched the blonde's eyes glaze over with slight concern before Emma shook herself out of her stupor.

"So what brings you down here, Regina?"

"Well, I'm on a date." She said conspiratorially leaning into the blonde. She relished the wide eyes that moved down her body, taking in the tight black dress she'd donned for the occasion.

"Well," Emma said clearing her throat as her eyes locked on a spot over Regina's shoulder. "He's a lucky man."

"Woman."

Emma's eyes shot to her, "Pardon?"

"I see your manners are improving. My work is paying off." Regina replied sipping idly at her drink as Emma continued to look at her with an open mouth. "Close it, dear." She said using a finger to push Emma's chin up.

"A woman?" Emma finally blurted out after a minute of opening her mouth then snapping it shut.

"Yes. I'm here to meet a woman for our date." She said eyeing Emma meaningfully.

"Well, where is she?" Emma said looking around at the people by the bar and the dance floor, as Regina sighed at Emma failed to comprehend the hidden meaning to her words.

"She's here." Regina said firmly.

"Oh, you should go talk to her then." Emma said as her shoulders dropped and turned back to her beer then glaring at it wondering how it was empty when she'd only had two sips. "Evaporation." She muttered to herself as she signaled for another.

Regina smiled fondly at the blonde's behaviour as Emma smiled happily at her now full bottle. "I am."

"Am what?" Emma mumbled round the mouth of the bottle. Regina pulled it away from her lips as she entered Emma's space.

"I am talking to her."

"But you're talking to me."

"Yes, dear. I am." Regina knew Emma wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but it was oddly amusing watching the blonde's brow furrow as she tried to understand what she was getting at.

"But… you… you don't have 52 cats." She said her eyes widening with a realization that had Regina pulling away in confusion.

"No, I don't." As much as she enjoyed talking with Emma she had no idea where the woman was going with this particular conversation.

"You're not crazy-crazy either! Just crazy!" Emma exclaimed like she'd just figured out the cure for cancer. "And you're not a princess either!" Regina was slightly offended by the remarks but Emma's wide smile was enough to belly the snarky comments she so wished to say.

"No, dear. But I am a Queen."

"You're my date." Emma whispered in awe.

"Yes, dear. I am."

"You like me?"

"Against all odds, yes." Regina admitted with a shy smile.

"I'm gonna kill her." Emma's growl took Regina by shock as she followed Emma's gaze to Ruby dancing in the middle of the crowd. Emma moved to get up but Regina's hand on her arm forced her back down.

"It was my idea." Regina said waiting for Emma to meet her eyes. "I wasn't sure how you felt about me. So the blind date was my idea. This way if you didn't feel as I do I could just be a friend."

"You are a friend."

"I know but… I want to be more." Regina sighed letting go of Emma and downing her drink. She looked out at the people having fun on the dance floor as Emma lapsed into silence. As the seconds ticked on Regina's heart dropped further as Emma failed to say anything.

A warm hand found her cheek and pulled her gaze back to Emma's. "I would like more too." Emma answered shyly as her thumb stroked Regina's red cheek.

"You would?"

"If you want it." Emma shrugged casually letting her hand drop only to have it caught by Regina's.

"I do. Herding cats and all." Regina smiled as Emma laughed loudly. "Will you tell me what made you think about herding cats in the first place?"

"I will, after I do one thing."

"What's that?" Regina had barely finished her question when Emma's lips met hers. Her eyes closed automatically as she relaxed into Emma's touch. Emma pulled back and rested their forehead together with a blinding grin when Regina's eyes fluttered open.

"I've wanted to do that for a while." Emma admitted, as she pulled back further keeping their hands locked together.

"What's stopping you from doing it again?" Regina asked as she leant forward for another. She cursed when Emma dodged and nestled her head against Regina's neck.

"All the people watching us." She whispered in Regina's ear as the woman pulled back with wide eyes and looked at the group of people gawking at them.

"Well, that's certainly a turn off." She said calmly as she glared at them. Emma hummed in agreement before pressing a kiss to Regina's cheek.

"Why don't you tell me what turns you on instead?"

"I think that's a discussion best had in private, dear."

"Then what's stopping us?" Emma smirked as she pulled Regina from the stool and straight out the door of the bar. She let go of Regina's hand leaving the brunette thoroughly confused as she darted back into the bar for a few seconds before coming back out and puling Regina into a heated kiss.

Breathless Regina pulled back, "What was that for?"

"I just had to thank someone." Emma answered with a smile before kissing her soundly once more. "Best date ever." She mumbled against Regina's lips.

"This date is far from over, dear." Regina said with a wicked smirk as she pulled away from the blonde. With an extra sway to her hips as she walked to her car she looked back over her shoulder to the practically drooling woman. "You coming, dear?"

"Oh, I will be." Emma answered as she caught up with the woman she had fallen for and planned to show her just how much she liked Regina all night long, and probably in the morning too.

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**AN: **So there you go! Hope everyone's doing okay after the winter finale!

A little fluff never hurts :) Happy new year! Hope your holidays are going well.

You know the drill, review and tell me what you think!


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